Hi, All.
I hope you’re well.
This letter has various types of information so please skip down to the one/s of interest. You don’t need to be a member to enjoy our resources and information posted on our website at https://table-talk-celebrate.blogspot.com. Some posts include previous topics or suggestions.
TOPICS:
1. Meeting Schedule
2. A few topics for upcoming meetings
1. Meeting Schedule
We have a small group, room for more, and it’s one of the activities people can join if they’re still working. All are welcome!
Meetings are scheduled for the following Mondays at 7PM in the Rappahannock Room.
September 18
October 2
October 16
November 6
November 20
December 4
December 18
2. A few topics for upcoming meetings
In our last meeting, we discussed death again as one of our members just lost a spouse and another had a one year anniversary of losing one. We talked about the emotional side of loss and the practical (administrative) side and juggling both. Here are some of the suggestions and I’m sure others have additional ideas:
- Create a spreadsheet listing your electronic passwords for your devices, websites such as Amazon, credit cards, banks and investment sites, medical records, pharmacies, utilities, etc. If you have a password manager, be sure to list the password to get into that program.
- Make a list of your contacts’ names, numbers, email addresses or other contact information so your extended family and friends can be contacted.
- Hospice is helpful and can be done in a hospital, care facility or at home. They help manage pain, inform family about what to expect, and support you when your loved one passes. ProMedica was recommended. This one is in Warrenton and serves our area: https://www.promedicahospice.org/find-an-agency/promedica-hospice-warrenton/. It was suggested you enter and save each nurse’s number into your phone as they rotate help and you might miss their call.
- Covenant Funeral Services was recommended. You can review their site at https://www.covenantfuneralservice.com/.
- Have an updated Trust if you need one and a Will. Your attorney will help you determine what you need and guide you through completing other documents such as a Power of Attorney. If you do not have a Trust and/or a Will, Probate will determine who owns the account/asset.
- Keep a list of things you need to do administratively, and prioritize your activities. You don’t need to immediately cancel a credit card or a phone: some bills or contacts can occur months later. (My medical bills are sometimes settled months after the appointment, depending on the whims of their billing offices and the efficiency and correct payment by insurance.) You don’t have to do everything today!
- You can use your phone to video your/your loved one’s wishes regarding personal property such as who you’d like to inherit family heirlooms.
- Exchange household duties with your spouse so you each know where to find items. (That pesky soup ladle will be easily found in your stuck drawer.)
- Simplify the number of accounts you have. If you worked at 3 companies and had a 401(k) with each one, consolidate that so your loved one doesn’t have to contact companies for each account.
- Make a spreadsheet of your accounts including where they are and the account numbers.
Regarding your emotions:
- Say “yes” to help, surrender to needing other people and accept their help.
- Feel the grief and go to a grief counselor if needed. Celebrate has a Grief Group.
- Continue your connections with others. Try not to withdraw.
In addition to our talk about grief, one person had brought in a commentary about a “bucket or chuck-it list.” She mentioned how some things may have been on a bucket list when she was younger but her priorities and interests have changed or she might have missed a window when she felt more comfortable with certain activities. Some of the earlier items are not important to her now and she’s focusing on other dreams, reprioritizing as she goes.
Another topic that bubbled up - and I think we should talk about this - is the limitations imposed, perhaps by society, on what occupations or interests men and women “should” have and the way were were taught differently in school. For example, I did not take any shop classes and probably would have enjoyed them, but I did take Home Ec. and enjoyed those classes. As a practical matter, maybe having options to both would have helped me understand mechanical items.
Do you have some tips, websites, podcasts or books to share?
Please bring a list of any of the following:
- favorite websites
- your subscription magazines - how did you choose and what’s important to you about them?
- names of a few books you’ve recently read
- summary of recent articles of interest
- topics on your mind
We’ll use the list to determine topics.
I hope to see you on Monday, September 18.
Cheers,
Marcia
Marcia Stein, SHRM-CP PHR
C 408-203-9112